Monday, 29 November 2004

Things that suck
I do
not
have
a single
friend.

Is that not simply ridiculous? And what the hell am I supposed to do about it? I feel like I've forgotten how to make friends, much less be friends, with someone.

Life marginally sucks at the present time. But at least we got a nice house to spend it in.

My small bedroom seems to be filled, apart from a queen-size bed, with crap. I don't even have that many possessions, but even before I started throwing them around the room in a fit of temper this evening, they've just been spreading to fill the space given them. I made a feeble attempt to begin sorting it (in quite the wrong state of mind for the task) and ended up making a half-assed attempt at crying; thinking of how what I've collected as treasures suddenly appears to be junk. And it's so unromantic to have to sort them into piles that fit into large plastic storage boxes with snaplock lids. Quite apart from the upsets that come from looking at much of this stuff - things with memories attached. Memories, or previous states of being, which show up how I've changed, or what I've left behind, in ways I would never wish. Half of me wants to throw these things out the goddamned window - as one does with things that hurt you.

Oh, but this bitching and moaning is doing nobody any good, including you, if in fact there is anybody reading this. I'll cease and desist - for now. It's goddamned ten o'clock already, so I have to go and have a shower and go to bed. Early to work tomorrow - probably a good thing. Somewhat less time there to think about my personal problems. Instead I get to bitch and moan (within my mind anyway) about work-related things! Wheee!


~ posted by Anna @ 10:01 PM
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