Saturday, 31 January 2004

Current feeling.

~ posted by Anna @ 7:37 PM

Friday, 30 January 2004

God, I feel like I haven't had a birthday cake with candles in SO long. *pouts and whimpers*

IT DOESN't MATTER that I don't normally eat cake. Celebratory cake with candles is an entirely different matter! o_O There ain't nothing like the scent of extinguished candles... *siiiigh................*

~ posted by Anna @ 10:41 PM

Har Har.
My Nokia 3315 is now BLUE. No, that's not 'blue'... not even blue... it's BLUE. Shiny colourific cobalt... yeah, I finally got meself a new phone cover... hurrah... :>

Ooooh, naughty. Somebody just broke a glass in the lounge. *cackles* And I thought I was a drunken klutz. :P

Am working on a new layout incorporating a view of tree-fern ceiling above forest path. I still don't totally get CSS layouts, but I'm trying! Fair warning: I'll be thoroughly pissed if it doesn't work. o_O

~ posted by Anna @ 10:11 PM

Five Friday Frankfurters for Frankenstein.

You have just won one million dollars:

1. Who do you call first?

One o' my best friends - Mum.

2. What is the first thing you buy for yourself?

Mmm... difficult q... perhaps a huge bunch of flowers. Or whichever little piece of loot has been on my mind for a while.

3. What is the first thing you buy for someone else?

Haha, I think flowers would apply here also. ^_^

4. Do you give any away? If yes, to whom?

Whoever I felt needed it most at the time. Folks I love, for something they really need, or strangers who obviously need a lot. I can't really specify.

5. Do you invest any? If so, how?

Guh, I wouldn't know how.

~ posted by Anna @ 7:20 PM

Wednesday, 28 January 2004

I dreamed that I was a pallbearer. The leader of the line of coffin carriers... for a stranger. Somehow I was the only one there who did not know the deceased.

And then, I dreamed of endless M&Ms, of which I simply could not eat enough. *chomp*chomp*chomp* o_O

~ posted by Anna @ 8:02 PM

Wa wa wah...
New frond-tastic design. I hope it looks nifty. It did in my imagination.

~ posted by Anna @ 6:31 PM

Tuesday, 27 January 2004

Bastard mosquitos! they's feasting on my ankles. Must invest in a flyswatting contraption.

~ posted by Anna @ 11:50 PM

Monday, 26 January 2004

Unconscious Mutterings
Gosh, it feels like I did this yesterday, not an entire week ago.
  1. Political: assassination
  2. Concentration: lapse
  3. Fish: balls (do they have 'em? ;)
  4. Lunacy: me
  5. Red: door
  6. Imply: insult
  7. Recognize: fault
  8. Sexist: feminist
  9. Commercial: break
  10. Stricken: guilt

~ posted by Anna @ 2:15 PM

Friday, 23 January 2004

The Friday Five, in fine and good time.

At this moment, what is your favorite...


'Theme From The Last Waltz' by The Band


vanilla ice cream, with sprinkled bits o' dark chocolate

3. show?

Buffy The Vampire Slayer (reruns of seasons 1-3 only)

4. ...scent?

the subtle, individual perfumes of our cats' fur

5. ...quote?

"Some men see things as they are and ask why. Others dream things that never were and ask why not." -George Bernard Shaw

~ posted by Anna @ 9:30 PM

Monday, 19 January 2004

Mutter, mutter, blather and stutter.

  1. Berry: berry nice
  2. Fiendish: plot
  3. Bar: bar-room brawl... bar-room tidy... unrumble!
  4. Frank: Spencer
  5. Bend: with the wind
  6. Fanatic: cult
  7. Belch: squelch
  8. Flagrant: flamingly flamboyant fiend
  9. Burden: unwanted
  10. Flimsy: excuse

~ posted by Anna @ 4:53 PM

Saturday, 17 January 2004

Another Friday Five

1. What does it say in the signature line of your emails?

Err, nothing really - whatever silly parting phrase springs to mind at the time. I reckon it's better to have a personalised message for each email, even if it's something lame.

2. Did you have a senior quote in your high school yearbook? What was it? If you haven't graduated yet, what would you like your quote to be?

We never had the kind of yearbooks with a picture each and quotes and stuff, just a general entire-school yearbook. In a way I'm glad, because it could be scary to reminisce on how I looked and what I'd be quoted as saying from that time.

3. If you had vanity plates on your car, what would they read? If you already have them, what do they say?

I don't have a car - I'm not really into them. But if I did, I'd be torn between an aversion to waste even more money on the car, and having a really nifty vanity plate. But all that being said, I have no idea as yet what would be a nifty six-or-seven-letter message.

4. Have you received any gifts with messages engraved upon them? What did the inscription say?

Nope. Nothing.

5. What would you like your epitaph to be?

Perhaps something like...
"To whom are you speaking?
It must be the air -
For I'm not under this dirt:
I have flown elsewhere."

~ posted by Anna @ 11:49 AM

Thursday, 15 January 2004

Gotcha, you bastard.
*squishes a big mosquito, and feels better still* >:)

You say the hill's too steep to climb?
Cliiiiiiiimb it...

~ posted by Anna @ 10:53 PM

Humidity. And perspiration. Mosquitos. And itchiness. Heat. And grouchiness. Damnit. :/

*plays Meddle and relaxes*

Time... to browse. Onward to the www, I go.

~ posted by Anna @ 10:47 PM

Monday, 12 January 2004

(I'll just cram these many entries here. I may or may not tidy them up tomorrow.)

I had a thought to note down a thought that I had about half an hour ago, then I got distracted. During the resulting lengthy bloggle I realised the need to undelete my old LiveJournal to search for a relevant post. I got further distracted re-reading the thoughts of events of 2002. Golly that was a good year. I miss my class, Waah! And--I can't believe this... along the way I've found three poems* (so far) that I'd written and forgotten! o_O I'll stash them in Earthenwords' poetry vault sooner or later. There were a surprising number of posts which I enjoyed re-reading. It contains my thoughts back to 2001, so I think I'll leave the journal undeleted, and even put a link to it in my menubar. Here it is for now: LiveJournal Linkety.

*sigh* The first thought is thoroughly lost in the squishy, pink, neuron-studded valleys of my brain. Mebbe it'll find its way out, in time. This is the way my mind behaves! I get nothing for hours, days, even weeks, and then suddenly, splosh! I'm inundated with noteworthy thoughts, and there's not enough time to note them down before they wash each other away. Anyway, here goeth the secondary bloggle.

I would like to make note, for posterity or whatever, of the various modes of flight that have featured in my dreams over the years.

1) Not unlike a hang-glider, I had what I can only call 'training wings', which allowed me to glide gracefully - but only in a downward motion. I had these dreams several times, for a while, up until the next one...

2) ...Wherein I graduated into free flight, in any direction, using no apparati, with no restrictions. One beautiful dream in which I was gliding and diving around a rocky tor in the centre of a landscape of pastel-hued pastures. Oh my, that was peaceful... rich, imbued with serenity. ^_^

3) I believe it was during the phase of training wings - I experienced another type of flight. I could hover, bobbing about in midair a scant couple of metres above ground. I also had the ability to light lamps and candles by brushing a hand above them. This was my job: to light rows of lamps along some kind of ceremonial walkway. I was robed in dark green. Unfortunately I must have made some error in my duty, because a tall, hawk-faced, forbidding man suddenly took away my power. :/

4) Once I was running as fast as I could from an unknown assailant along an avenue of lacy deciduous trees (perhaps pin-oaks), when suddenly I found I could ride the wind, laughing, turning over and over, spinning on the currents - just like a leaf. This was a supremely joyful, natural kind of flight.

5) Amid a place of ruined stone buildings I hid, and I knew it was a city that had until very recently stood and prospered. Who I was hiding from, I know not, but anyway there was blue sky above... and perched atop a metallic sphere, I could fly high into the sky, with only the push of a thought. Not unlike the Harry Pottery broomstick flight, only it was by force of mind, not body, tilting and moving the device. I would think, 'go there!' and I would. I don't know where I went. Over the sea perhaps, then there were gardens over which to drift.

6) I should mention this as but a brief moment of flight, yet an important one. Really, the entire dream shouldn't be forgotten. Actually it wasn't me who flew... I think... Oh what the hell, I'll just copy and paste from the LJ post (which I finally found). "A white-hued angel with large feathered wings was moving across a green field away from a human area (a school?) and was heading towards a hillside furred with long grass and pocked with small caves; to either hide or hibernate, I'm not sure. Two little girls followed him(me?) into a hiding place and jumped about in fascination and adoration. Though he looked upon them with love, he wanted them to be gone, and so he gave them the gift of translucent butterfly wings. They were delighted, and floated gracefully up and away from the hillside; their wings disappearing the moment they touched the ground. They were filled with joy, and one picked a flower from the green meadow and kissed it, whispering, 'I love you.'" So there we go.

7) The second most recent flight was upon the adorable, Ruth-sized, vibrant-fluoro-flame-hued dragon... a rather more clearly Harry-Pottery themed dream. :> I kept almost falling off, but that sort of added to the thrill of flight over the landscape. (Suburbscape, actually. Hmmmm.)

8) And the most recent is barely worth a mention, just a kind of frantic, ungraceful throwing myself into the air, only going up enough to avoid being grabbed at and caught by someone. Oh well. The rest more than make up for this one!


And odd wee noises have been here and there
on the periphery of today,
touching my awareness like someone
tapping my shoulder, then running the other way.



I will dive below the surface of knowledge;
eyes blurred and lungs burning in unfamiliar waters,
Until things grow clearer and my eyes refocus
and I breathe in new ideas.

Those who linger above will see
a certain change come over me:
A light from the depths of my eyes,
and old air from before; old knowledge
bubbling up - deep wondrous laughter.

My friends, come dive with me!
There is so much more to see.


Sometimes I can't help but wonder
Why I'm seldom purely in the moment:
Why I cannot stop being someone
to whom things far away mean something.

Sometimes I can't help thinking.
"If only I weren't someone
whose smile is like a wound in her face;"
But 'If only' means nothing.

I am somewhat confused
As to the recurring need to say,


Still re-reading... whoa, deja-vu. I know, I know, you'll think, "But she's reading old posts, of course she's been there before." But that's not what deja-vu is, to me. It's more complicated than actual recognition. It's like... the gathering together of all one's sense-data within a moment, which forms an ethereal sense of recognition... designed to let one know that one is on or close to the correct probability path. I likes deja-vu.

On another note: Oh, Pandora, I love Pandora. The story, and the woman. So very much my favourite Ricean vampire. And though she's not specifically a character who inspired this poem (written some time ago), it suits her so well, I'll slap it up here anyway...

Children Of The Millennia

Shattered lines of old lands and long-lost loves
Carried with despairing reverence in minds like caskets of stone;
The old ones hang like ghosts over the earth,
Condemned to watch from outside the beauty of human life,
And, eternally moving onward,
They leave their shadow of death wherever their foot falls.


Oooh, a new wee pome!

Grammar Waltz

Dance backward, dance forward, little words:
Put thy feet in the right space.
Puppets, ye knowest thy partner
And thy partner's true place,
Though the puppeteer is in ignorance.

Waltz 'til the break of day.
Turn in a circle,
Laugh, dance on.
Your feet will know the way!


I can't fathom why so many thoughts are coming to me tonight. But here is one more ponderation. How is it that there's almost no record of Kefiri's time with us? I was using no diary or blog... a few measly photos of her looking scruffy, is all. It was amazing how large a gap such a small creature left in our lives, and how the event dwarfed everything else. But I see how she never meant her stay to be long. She was a sparky, beautiful feline angel sent to teach us something... perhaps something we'll only ever subliminally understand.

And getting a new kitty was no affront to her spirit. It was time to bring someone new into our family. It's never an attempt to fill the gap the dearly departed leaves, as that would be futile, impossible - it merely helps to initially dull the pain of that void.

But I digress. There was barely anything to document Kef's life. Far be it from me to misalign memories, though. Perhaps this is a lesson on the strength and importance of Mnemosyne, which prevails when nothing else does. Of course, we could never forget our Kef.


Ah ha ha! I've remembered the original thought. :D It was a slight alteration to my 100 Things. The fact that I am a quote junkie. Not hardly an important alteration, but I just can't help tweaking things like this.


Yotz! I'm even gathering bits from old LJ posts which were old when I posted them to LJ.

"She gazed up at the blue arc of the heavens and smiled. The stars twinkled with their cold fire, framed by swaths of pale grey cloud. The moon illuminated the glade with a soft silver radiance that calmed her fearful heart. She breathed deeply, inhaling the starshine, and a rush of empowerment swelled through her breast, as if she were a conduit for earth energy reaching its arms to play with the stars. She stood up, a light of grim determination in her eyes. Carrying the power of the stars, she went forth to face her nemesis.
(Where did that come from? some story I never wrote? I can see no link to the fanfictions I used to write, so I don't know to what that passage could have been related. Oh, well.)"

~ posted by Anna @ 1:00 AM

Sunday, 11 January 2004

Feline faux-paws.
Oh dear oh dear oh dear!!

Before I noticed his intentions and realised I should stop him, Roux tried to jump up and sit atop my monitor in the warmth like he used to do. Though he didn't know it has been swapped for a flat LCD screen! It got violently tilted back, and he ended up behind it in a state of utter bafflement. I've plonked him onto his other peering perch, the television in the lounge. Poor confused boy, looking daggers at me.

~ posted by Anna @ 10:17 PM

"Confession Of A Secret Night Owl"
Where was I when the majority voted the night weaker than the day? WHAT right does the day have to claim superiority over the beautiful, dark, sacred night?! Night is the 'real world' in such a different, special way.

Uhh. *sighs* I just get inflamed sometimes. That poem rocks. It says it all. ('All' of the momentary, yet eternal feelings that are bubbling upward in me.)

~ posted by Anna @ 9:11 PM

Unconscious Mutterings

  1. Mitchell: headmaster
  2. Mercury: rising
  3. Cycle: of our souls
  4. Engagement: party
  5. Alternative: medicine
  6. Gang: leader
  7. Emotional: phobic
  8. Skinny: malinki (, that's slinky malinki... oops!)
  9. Hypochondriac: sister
  10. Insecure: house

~ posted by Anna @ 8:59 PM

Plot Holes...?
This is a tricky business. In this day and age, it seems that an able-bodied young person is not allowed to have spent time not working. "Don't worry if your CV has a few 'holes' in it from a year abroad or a study sabbatical, today's recruiters are very understanding providing you have a good explanation to back yourself up in the interview." Yargh! This is the kind of job-search advice which strikes terror in me. I can't even say I was doing other things... I'll have to summon up all my patchy skill with words to make up convincing white lies. Perhaps I was 'pursuing practical gardening experience at home' in Dunsandel. What d'you think, dear blog of mine? ;P

~ posted by Anna @ 3:49 PM

Studying CV writing and my brain is full, so I'll offload an amusing anecdote from the other day. It went something like this...

   My grandfather, an octogenarian, is out with us visiting my great aunt whose old old friend is staying for a few days. Pa's surprising himself with how much he recalls of old times, because his short-term memory is becoming more and more nonexistent.
   At one point in the conversation he turns to friend Wanda and says, "I think I how it is I remember you so well. Not by your looks but your actions."
   "Well," she says, laughing, "I'm an actress! ... Someone once told me, 'You don't speak through your eyes.' I must speak with my hands."
   She thinks for a moment, then continues. "My daughter Jane once worked in an old folks' home, where there was a man who at the time hadn't spoken for several weeks. Jane decided to introduce herself, so she went over and said clearly, 'Hello. I'm Jane!' But there was no reply. The next day she went in to him and said again, 'Hello, I'm Jane.' And after the third time he responded with 'I'm... Tarzan.'"
   Which just goes to show: you can never tell what is stored in our minds, and what links will trigger those memories. ^_^

~ posted by Anna @ 2:17 PM

Saturday, 10 January 2004

Curses and jinxes, precious.
Go n-aora na gráinneoga cealgrúnacha do chuid calóga arbhair. (May the malevolent hedgehogs satirize your cornflakes.)

Gosh, I should use that curse generator more often. :D

~ posted by Anna @ 8:51 AM

Thursday, 8 January 2004

I. Am. Very. Very. Very. Sleepy.
But hey, I had a fun stay-up last night, watching Priscilla again, eating delectable dessert and working on my 100 things. I have about sixty-one so far. Won't be long now!

Here's some scattered thoughts from the other evening.

History is a formalisation. In our reading of it we learn only what the historian wanted to reveal, and this is more often than not a cold, objective perspective; glorified and/or exaggerated. The more recent the writer, the less relevant it is to apply our perceptions to the history, for the further apart in style they are. Can we know how, or if, people back in time thought and felt differently to us in all aspects of life? I find historical fiction better to read because it attempts a more subjective, emotive, human perspective. But is it just pasting modern sensibilities over true possible occurrences? I want to know how people regarded one another and their world, how their thoughts ran, what motivated them. This seems to be something that cannot be known by anyone from a different time, unless we can look into past lives, but then it would be us using our modern 'eyes' to see the past. And besides, each mind is a realm unto itself which is difficult to know: we cannot truly know the mind of another person of our time, or, at times, our own.

~ posted by Anna @ 12:27 PM

Monday, 5 January 2004

"He's gonna have to work on that problem he has with no balls." ^_^ Heeheehee! Oh my, commentators are funny. (Except when they try to be; then it doesn't work.)

~ posted by Anna @ 6:29 PM

I pity the cricket wicket's pitch
   whose yellow, withered grass
Is a trampled strangled remnant
   of green life, at the last;
Scuffed stage upon which failures
   and victories come to pass.

~ posted by Anna @ 1:00 PM

Sunday, 4 January 2004

Unconscious Mutterings

  1. Vintage: wine
  2. Longing: to scream
  3. Specimen: jar
  4. Mock: Tudor (Tu-door mansion, Four-door mansion.)
  5. Shit: -faced
  6. Friday: I'm in love
  7. Cruel: intentions
  8. Insufficient: funds
  9. Pessimistic: overtones
  10. Grin: and bear it

~ posted by Anna @ 10:02 PM

Saturday, 3 January 2004

Oosp: I forgot to link to my last Friday Five. Oh well, here's this week's five anyway.

What one thing are you most looking forward to . . .


Beginning a new book. That is, if I can decide on one. May not be new in the sense of "never read this before", but beginning a book goes hand-in-hand with the good feeling of having actually, finally finished the previous one. The latter often takes me some time!

However, I must rate with equal anticipation the time when the day will finally cool down into evening... *bakes*

2. ...over the next week?

Getting around to tidying up my room and the rest of the house since we moved, now that busy Holiday Days are over.

3. ...this year?

Having a job that I enjoy, and the consequent paycheques. (Though I am thoroughly not looking forward to the process of getting work.)

4. ...over the next five years?

Put simply - getting a life. This involves work, friends, money, spending my spare time in useful/enriching/fun ways, etc.

5. ...for the rest of your life?

I realise the following is (a) ambiguous, and (b) something that will not just come to me, but will rather need to be constantly worked towards... Living in harmony with myself, others, and the earth.

~ posted by Anna @ 1:59 PM

Thursday, 1 January 2004

In lieu of dusk-to-dawn New Year's Eve celebrations, we found ourselves spending the whole day revelling, in our own quiet and pleasant ways.

Waking up, getting up and going out before the world is awake is bizarre. Especially in a sleep-deprived state, having had only four hours snooze beforehand. Never mind the obscenely loud alarm music and resulting panicky heart; it's an odd feeling, watching the light slowly rising from shades one rarely sees, and watching everyone else awakening and moving in a gradual rush... one feels left behind, or perhaps sidelined, even though one was up before them all. As if one was never really awake at all.

An odd breakfast at the airport, then we escorted Sarah to Gate 17, hugged and waved goodbye. She's gone off home to Brisbane (via Orc Land). I shall miss her. o_O After a nice coffee and sit-down in comfy chairs we gradually began to feel somewhat civil. A drive around one of Welly's southern arms, past little beaches and little baches new and old, pretty and odd. Feeling mellow we walked along a grey grainy beach with the sun reaching out at us across the waves, and myself turning eyes downward to scan for pretty seashells and bits of frosted glass. The sea, she does her best, turning trash into treasure. Some sights, scents and places are so occasional in one's life that one can really appreciate them. There's just nothing like the smell of the sea, the sound of waves shushing onto sand, or the sight of sunlight on ocean. A fresh marine breeze from crisp blue sky. The mind calming as we continue driving around the coast, and we stop to visit the memorial of P.M. William Ferguson Massey. Delicious smell of clay and forest greets us on the steep path, alongside sinuous Pohutukawa branches winding up to their red-flowering canopy of green-and-silver leaves. We emerge to see the memorial on a bright hilltop clearing with wonderful views all around of Wellington harbour in brilliant sunshine. It's good to see it from fresh perspectives. Standing on the elegant and simple marble structure one feels as though one is standing in a Greek temple, or on the prow of a ship, like Mum said from her memory of coming here when she was my age. Oh, it's good to see new places!

Onward via Happy Valley Road past Brooklyn and Karori, through the hills westward to Makara bay/beach. A tiny town with a cafe who served us a nice breakfast at their leisurely pace while we strove not to nod off (although Dad took a catnap on a handy couch). Filled up with fine fare we then scooted back through hills and Karori to the botanic gardens. I'd only seen disjointed bits of said gardens before, thus I thoroughly enjoyed seeing more as they are lush and excellent. A huge place: we couldn't see it all in the time we had; our sample included various shady green paths with burbling streams; the duck pond; an uphill walk under a canopy of tree ferns and other things, which felt rather like a rainforest; some sunny lawns where stopped to catch our breath, our hearts, and the view; the Australian garden atop the highest point of the gardens; then down some sunny asphalt paths to the Treehouse info centre where we took the gravity lift down to a lower level, and ambled back to our car - with a mere half hour to go get a park for our CineLounge booking for The Return Of The King.

In case you don't know, a cinelounge is comprised of enormous reclining chairs with wee tables for edibles and drinkables, and the ticket includes free popcorn and soft drinks, with the opportunity to buy drinks and food which may be brought into you when you so desire. We each got a glass of wine and our popcorn and sat down. And now for the movie itself... well! What to say? Bearing in mind that I have not yet read much of T.R.O.T.K. and had only a basic idea of what was going to happen, I can honestly say that I believe they did everything well with a good balance of being true to the story and creating a thrilling cinematic experience. I was transfixed, completely in the action, and the emotion. It's a beautiful film, and a beautiful ending to the story. I had no disappointments in anything they did; only in omissions, and we know many of those will be filled in when we see the extended edition. I'm not a reviewer, so I won't go into detail here: I'd feel silly trying to put such a thing into words. But I dearly look forward to seeing it again, and also finishing the books. Heheh, and I look forward to visiting the cinelounge again! So what if my legs cramped up partway through? I think that was because of the length of the movie, not bad chair design. I wonder if Harry Potter will be shown there. :>

Home again home again, jiggety-jig. Couldn't do much else but sprawl about under the influence of sleep deprivation, feeling rather strange in the noggin, and drink some very good wine. We finally roused ourselves enough to put on one of our new DVDs (once we'd begun making an evening meal), which was The Last Waltz, special edition. We dutifully played it LOUD, as the DVD instructed, and Mum and Dad in particular sat down to thoroughly enjoy some nostalgic music. Little did I expect that I'd be so drawn in! I knew that I'd recognise it from when they played the same music in my youth; but the group (of mostly Canadians) amazed me: the joy and enthusiasm with which they played the mix of rock and roll, southern, blues and other varied songs; and the subtle melancholy of getting together for a last show. I got to see some artists I'd heard but never seen before including Joni Mitchell, and saw some artists I'd never much known or liked playing what was probably their best ever performance. What an amazing concert! Well done that band. ^_^

Afterwards it was getting late (by our skewed inner clocks at least), so having munched our macaroni vegetable and cheeze bake, we finished the DVD and toddled off to bed. I had a shower on the way, and I set my alarm for dawn, but 'fraid to say I was so zonked that I never even heard it and, alas, couldn't get up to watch the sunrise. A good night's sleep was had instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!!

~ posted by Anna @ 11:28 AM