Monday, 14 June 2004
101 Ways to Annoy Voldemort
Selected excerpts from MuggleNet
101 Ways to Annoy, Harass, Confuse or Generally Scare Lord Voldemort
by Amanda Lack
3. Wake him up by singing Beach Boys songs in his ear. 'Round, round, get around, I get around...'
12. Play 'knock-&-run' at his bedchamber door late at night.
25. Apparate into and out of his room rapidly. Do this non-stop for an hour. *poof* there *poof* gone *poof* there....
27. Let off party-poppers in his face whenever the urge strikes you.
34. Ask him to give you written summaries of his sinister plots for revenge and war. Correct his spelling.
37. Get the song 'Mr. Tambourine Man' stuck in his head.
38. If he's having evil-plotter's-block in one of his scheming sessions 'Wingardium Leviosa' a light bulb to float above his head. Turn it on. Look offended when he gets angry and say you 'thought you were helping!'
39. Tell him constantly to stop repressing his anger.
40. Buy him a stress ball.
43. If you're feeling gutsy, call him Voldie-poo.
47. Endeavour to teach him to steeple his fingers, lean back and say 'Eeeexcellent'.
48. Start drawing outlandish parallels between his life story and 'Star Wars'. Talk at great length.
50. 'Imperius' his Death Eaters into a rousing chorus of 'All Things Bright And Beautiful'
73. Insist on reading him bedtime stories. Include 'The Ugly Duckling'
77. Tell him Wormtail has a crush on him.
80. Begin any question you ask him with 'Riddle me this!' Emphasis on Riddle.
82. Cuddle him at random moments.
85. Throw biscuits at him. Constantly.
And, not to be completely outdone, I'd like to add my own...
After hearing his newest evil plot, exclaim 'AH! Your plan is so cunning, you could put a tail on it and call it a weasel!'
~ posted by Anna @ 10:43 PM