Sunday, 21 March 2004

Saturday Slant: I Forgive...

"We have all been wronged by someone, intentionally or otherwise. The wisest and strongest of us lets affronts slide off her like rain from her face. Most of us, however, hold onto at least some offenses and slights. Like leaves burnt on a Fall day, long after the upper thoughts have burnt to ash, some things beneath continue to simmer. Smoldering embers still produce quite a lot of heat. It's time to stamp out at least one sinder. Forgive an affront. Forgive the person who made it. Forgive yourself. And thereby free yourself to make better use of the emotional energy fueling the ember."

Well, this is a thought-nudger... I can't actually bring to mind a noteworthy incident of being wronged - not that much, good nor bad, has happened to me in my life. Yet I understand the kind of passion that drives a grudge. I've got to the stage where I begrudge those close to me their personal, everyday habits. I let them drive me crazy. Partly this is because of inactivity; I think to myself, Oh, I'll be fine once I get a job, a social life, and so on. But that's total escapism! regardless of the fact that spending less time around these people, or more importantly, spending less time brooding about these people, would likely relieve me of my malcontent... I should be able to control my bad thought and feelings towards people! I shouldn't waste energy letting my anger smoulder! Sure, sometimes I think I've squashed my grudges, but then they flare up again those birthday candles which can't be blown out. And what's more, I get angry with myself for being angry. At this point I honestly don't know how to proceed, except to take the fire escape: get myself a life, something to take up more of my time. Perhaps then, when my grudges seem smaller in perspective, I can figure out a way to snuff them out forever and start using that energy for positive things.

There we go, that was my first Slant. I'd been reading the Slants for a while, and perhaps entertaining a few idle thoughts which they provoke, but this time I got up off my virtual arse and responded to one. See, I can still carry out a train of thought. Goody for me. :P

~ posted by Anna @ 10:01 PM